Pastor Sean does not understand apology. He just does not get it.
I taught my children at a very young age how to apologize appropriately . It requires honesty about your actions and the humility to accept responsibility. Pastor Sean believes he offered such words after his intensely offensive rant about gay people and gay kids on “Marriage Sunday” in North Carolina. Most of the world missed his equally offensive rants about transgender people beginning at 13:00.
He tweeted his disappointment that his public apology was not accepted.
Today, Pastor Sean tweeted that he had given a sermon for National Day of Prayer to Berean High School students. Oh my, he just does not get it. You assess for yourselves if the Pastor even understands why there is such anger coming at him.
At 29:00 he says:
The reason my Sunday sermon exploded across Facebook and the entire world it because I said there is a thing called sin.
At 31:25 he says:
We are naturally prideful. It is not in our nature to humble ourselves. That is what I have had to do all week. I did not say good words, I should have picked better words. The first step to restoration is humility.” And continues at 32:25 with, “The reason I am in such a firestorm is because I identified that there is something that is wicked. You’re not supposed to say anything is wicked.
No, Pastor, lots of people have heard that some Christians believe same sex behavior is sinful and wicked. The reason for the reaction was this statement:
So your little son starts to act a little girlish when he is four years old and instead of squashing that like a cockroach and saying, ‘Man up, son, get that dress off you and get outside and dig a ditch, because that is what boys do,’ you get out the camera and you start taking pictures of Johnny acting like a female and then you upload it to YouTube and everybody laughs about it and the next thing you know, this dude, this kid is acting out childhood fantasies that should have been squashed.
Dads, the second you see your son dropping the limp wrist, you walk over there and crack that wrist. Man up. Give him a good punch. Ok? You are not going to act like that. You were made by God to be a male and you are going to be a male. And when your daughter starts acting too butch, you reign [sic] her in. And you say, ‘Oh, no, sweetheart. You can play sports. Play them to the glory of God. But sometimes you are going to act like a girl and walk like a girl and talk like a girl and smell like a girl and that means you are going to be beautiful. You are going to be attractive. You are going to dress yourself up.
Pastor Sean, in case your Mom missed sitting you down as a child to explain apology, here is how it works effectively:
- Understand what the offense actually is and label is properly.
- It must be genuine, a false apology only makes things worse.
- Resist the temptation to use the word “but”.
- Apologize for the action.
- Be sincere.
- Make a commitment to change.
- Offer reparation.
This is for Pastor Sean. Here is what an appropriate apology might have looked like:
I am sorry that I used offensive words to describe gay children and gave permission to parents to harm those gay children. My words were hurtful and dismissive and not the heart of Jesus and my encouragement to parents to physically harm their children and humiliate them was completely wrong. It is never appropriate to hurt a child.
I am going to make efforts to understand the outrage and the reaction by meeting with local parents of gay children and listen to them so that I can understand what it is like to raise a gay child appropriately. I have called the PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) in the area and asked to meet with them. I know what I did was wrong before God, offensive to the gay and lesbian community and I apologize for my words and actions.
Then you know what Pastor Sean, if you had taken responsibility, people may have believed you. The words you spoke in Chapel today clearly show that you do not take responsibility for the offense because you cannot not even label the offense.
The reason people are not accepting your apology, Pastor, is because you have not given one. Try again.
I will be in Charlotte in August for Pride Charlotte. I think you should make an effort to come have a meal with me and sit and LISTEN. Not talk, but listen. I am a heterosexual Evangelical Christian and I have done work in the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender Christian community for over six years. I can offer you much needed insights. You may struggle that I am female, and you will have to get over that too.
Listen to the cry of the oppressed coming from the desert. The reason you may not be able to hear the cry is that you are part of the problem.
P.S. Here is a more Christlike view and opinion of Amendment One in North Carolina that involves love, not hate and equality and dignity for all people as supported by both the Constitution and the Bible.