.
“Hey, ‘str8apology lady’, tell ‘em. Tell her what you told me. Tell her Jesus loves her too.” So, I did, over and over throughout the day at Pride Charlotte on August 27th. I have gone to pride events for years and the extremes seen in Charlotte that day tell the greater story of how the Christian church engages, or not, the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender (glbt) community.
As in any group, there are extremist Christians who intensely dislike, and even hate, the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community. At the other end of the spectrum, are affirming Christians and denominations who welcome equality in both ordinations and unions. Then in that big, middle, majority space are the ones who are still trying to decide where they land on the issues of inclusion and reconciliation of faith and orientation. Those are the ones I am challenging. The vocal ones are on the edges, but the ones in middle decide. And for the most part, those in the middle are also the silent or whispering ones.
Hopefully in sharing this three part series on Pride Charlotte, those of you trying to balance your theology, your understanding of Jesus and your information (or lack of information) about the glbt community can see that inaction and ignorance also have consequences. As you are silent or do nothing, people are damaged by the ones so passionate about exclusion. And, the most vulnerable of all, glbt youth are the casualties.
I see these kids; I really see them – and I am concerned that they feel they must make a choice between faith, which is an option, and orientation, which is not. These are the ones I spent most of my day with at Pride Charlotte.
- Talking to the youth
Statistically, over 80% of these kids come from Christian homes. By around age seven, they already feel “different.” It takes about five more years until they label the feeling and then struggle for another 3 ½ years in confusion and self acceptance. All of this is navigated through a predominantly Christian lens. (Hey, Bible Belt) So, at Pride Charlotte, as I talked mostly to 16- to late-20-somethings, they’ve known for ten to twenty years that they were “different.” Eventually, they labeled the feeling as “gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender,” and then begin to wrestle with how and if they fit into the Christian culture in which they were raised.
An overview of how the Christian church at large engages the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community played out in a microcosm of three city blocks in downtown Charlotte. About six open and affirming churches were present, hosting booths and inviting Pride participants to come join them for worship and activities. Sadly, with over seven hundred churches in the Charlotte area, only a handful of churches welcome the queer community.
- GHABW marching to Pride Charlotte
Unique to Pride Charlotte is an action that has been repeated three times, called “God Has a Better Way” (GHABW). This year, two hundred Christians marched into the public festival area under the leadership of Michael Brown, with the agenda to “reach out in love,” and “resist the radical gay agenda.” The group handed out water, postcards, rainbow bracelets and concert invitations, all directing the recipients to a website calling for either orientation change or celibacy. The “better way” suggested by these heterosexual Christians, many with children in strollers, was this: “God has a better way for you than homosexuality.” That’s right; deny your natural desires to love in the way natural to you; deny yourselves the blessings of a family (“but, oh look, we have ours right here, see how cute they are”), and come have a relationship with God and us. Bless your heart, leave your orientation at the door of the church because the opposite of homosexuality is holiness, dontcha know. Happy Pride!
- Ignoring the street preacher
To be expected, there were also about a dozen very vocal street preachers who abused the Word of God for six hours and loudly condemned the Pride Charlotte festival-goers. I positioned myself near them most of the day and did not see one fruitful engagement. Another three dozen street evangelists were also spread throughout the crowd. Some were standing silently with sandwich boards; another reading the Bible aloud; and a group of “plain clothes street evangelists” from GHABW initiating conversations with people. Each of the conversations I had with them quickly migrated to “homosexuality is sin” in less than one minute.
This overview of a single event is a peek into how the church as a whole engages the glbt community: small pockets of congregations fully welcome them, a slice of the edge of churches tolerate them and require change in orientation; and fringe groups openly hate them. But wait, where is the representation of that big, moderate, mostly silent, still-trying-to-figure-it-out middle? Yeah, where are we?
The adults at pride ignored the crazy street preachers and the red shirts. Most of them have already come to a point of reconciliation between their orientation and faith. Some have miraculously remained in faith communities; others honor their faith in a more personal way, having not yet found a place that will respect who they are; but most, unfortunately, have walked away from Christian roots because we heterosexual Christians tell them that being gay and Christian are mutually exclusive. In the midst of this clash of religion and culture are the kids, fresh in the knowledge and acceptance of orientation at varying levels, yet still being barraged by the “what do I do with Jesus” menu presented. They are still trying to figure it out, just like the big middle of the Christian church: we are still trying to figure it out.
- “God Has a Better Way” (than) Michael Brown
Hopefully, those of us in the deciding middle know that hate is neither productive nor seductive. Some Christians may find it acceptable to engage in an action such as “God Has a Better Way.” It looks lovely and kind from the outside, but manipulative love does not take long to sniff out; it reeks. Thank God for the affirming and welcoming churches at Pride Charlotte. May you each prosper as you extend grace and hope to those cast out. Perhaps my experiences with the precious gay and trans youth who are caught in the middle can help you decide where you think Jesus would stand; and then you can allow your faith to follow Him and so also stand where He would.
When I talked to the youth at Pride Charlotte, I heard over and over, “I love Jesus,” “I grew up X (denomination), but I am not welcome anymore,” and the heartbreaking, “I love God, why doesn’t He love me?” Wearing a shirt that says “Hurt By Church? get a #str8apology here” invites conversation. Most of the exchanges were as follows:
“Do you know that God loves you just the way you are? Do you know that He created you just the way you are and He sees your beauty? You are so beautiful to Him. Did you grow up in any faith? . . . What happened, why did you leave (if they did, which was the most typical answer)? . . . Let me help you reconcile your sexual orientation with the Bible. Go to my website and check out the VERSES link. If you have any questions, engage me there. There is also a link on the side that will help you find a church in your area that will welcome you, and if you can’t find one, write to me and I will hook you up with an online, streaming church in a denomination you are comfortable with. Here is a brochure for Gay Christian Network, an online community of over 18,000 gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender Christians to support you. So don’t feel like you need to walk away from God. He is crazy about you and would love to get back into your life. Okay? Don’t listen to all this conditional stuff, go figure this out. Talk to me, let me help you. And, you really are gorgeous just the way you are.”
What was I doing that was so “magical”? Why were youth running up to me even to the last five minutes saying, “Hey we saw you on YouTube. We can’t believe you came to Charlotte. Can I hug you? Will you just hug me?” Simple, simple answer. I was extending love and acceptance, no strings attached. None. Just like the love God extended to heterosexual me. And to middle majority you.
I handed out hundreds of cards with website information and flyers for the Gay Christian Network to mostly the youth, the searching ones, the questioning ones, the ones that want resources and help to integrate their faith and orientation. I was seen as a compromiser, an ear-tickler, a deceiver by the street preachers and GHABW folks. All this was in plainly annoying view to them. My goodness, if we honestly believe God can speak to people directly, then let Him. These kids will never get to the Banquet Table of God if you lock the Dining Room door and make the secret password “heterosexual.” I just wanted to let them know the door is still open for them too.
- With Steve Knight, thank you
Had Jesus been at Pride Charlotte, He would not have been in a “Repent or Perish” shirt or even a conditional love red shirt. He may not have been in a “str8apology” shirt either, but He would have been telling these gay and trans kids how precious and dear they are to Him. He would have been swarmed by the masses; Jesus the smile and hugging magnet. Real love does that; it attracts. That other cheap stuff stinks and repels.
If we believe we are reflections in our culture of the Lord we say we follow, then I think Jesus did show up at Pride Charlotte. Put the following incident in whatever context works in your religious view or your worldview. This is my language in the context of my faith: the Spirit of God would not be silent. God says rocks will cry out if His people are silent, asses will speak to get people to listen, and prophets will make their proclamations when hearts are hard. I guess I can easily fit somewhere in that grouping.
I had been standing in front of the street preachers and listening to the insane, aggressive, offensive rhetoric for about an hour. The red shirts clumped together in shady spots gawking, having now handed out all the “free” water they had brought. I can only describe it as a “snap” in me when I looked out at the crowd of mostly youth in front of me. The sense of injustice and anger at what my fellow Christians were doing to God’s precious gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people started rising from within me and I could not have stayed silent. One hand went up, my eyes closed and I was screaming louder than all four of the hate-filled voices behind me.
“Jesus came to fight oppression. Jesus came to fight injustice. Don’t listen to these people. They do not speak for God. Jesus came to bring equality. He loves you just the way you are.” And, more that I cannot remember. It was not me speaking
Kathy preaching to the crowd
A crowd gathered and they were hooting, clapping and screaming back:
“This is the Jesus we want.” “This is the Jesus we love.” “We want her Jesus, not yours!”
It was the stuff of religious films and Scene Two should have shown the stone throwers putting down their rocks as the silent judgers skulked away. Of course, that did not happen.
When I turned to the side to talk to a group of young women, I looked back and in the same space I had just stepped out of, Michael Brown, head of the red shirts stepped in to speak to the amassed crowd. He called out:
“You want Jesus, let me tell you about Jesus. God has a better way!”
It was surreal, as if someone turned off a microphone, his voice disappeared and so did the crowd within the minute. I went on to spend the rest of the day talking to mostly youth. People will interpret this incident with varying filters. Brown has already publicly denounced me as “misguided,” a “false prophet,” and “in need of pity and prayers.” The street preachers were aggressive in their language to me for the balance of the day. Even at the end when they refused to shake my hand. “Witch!” ”Devil!” “Jezebel!” they accused. (Thank you gents.)
Which group was reflecting your revelation of Jesus? The challenge is to consider what qualities of God drew you to Him and keep you near Him. If those same qualities are not emanating from you toward others, especially this group we have cast aside, why not? If you can’t be that Jesus to other people, especially the glbt community which has taken the brunt of our destructive theology, then stay out of areas set aside to shelter people from your harassment. Got that, Mr. Brown? Got that, street screechers? Stop doing damage.
If you can reflect Jesus’ love, why are you letting the vocal and damaging edge groups be the voice and face of Christianity? Jesus did come to fight oppression and injustice. We have been enlightened in recent history that the equality He spoke of included women and slaves, former targets of our ignorance. Equality has no boundary. Until all are equal, the work of Jesus is still happening.
- Lisa & Andrea
So, show up. If you haven’t taken the time to decide where you are on this issue, stop being lazy and allowing the minority to be the voice for all of us. You can start on my blog at VERSES and try to see the possible validity of affirming theology. Listen to glbt folks, especially the Christian ones that will tell you their own stories about orientation and faith. In your complacency, as you ignore the issue of orientation and faith, glbt people are being shut out. Sadly, these kids that are asking for help, resources and direction, are walking away. It breaks my heart to hear a darling little boigirl in her flat-beaked ball cap and drooping shorts say, “I love God, why doesn’t He love me?” He adores you, sweetie. More of us just need to start telling you that, because it is the truth.
.
Resource for welcoming churches worldwide.
[Thank you to both Steve Knight and Andrea White who joined me in the str8apology action that day; I hope they will tell their own stories. Also to Lisa Salazar, who has her own trans-reconciliation project burgeoning. I am thrilled that she is on the Board of Canyonwalker Connections.]
Series on Pride Charlotte :
“God Does Have a Better Way | Don’t Stand in the Path of It”
“Bullies With Bibles | Street Preachers/Screecher at Pride Charlotte”
“Exchange Between Michael Brown and Transwoman, Lisa Salazar”
“Stop “God Has a Better Way’ Action Pride Charlotte August 27th”
“Responses to ‘God Has a Better Way” Pride Charlotte”
”A Queer Thing Happened to America” by Michael Brown | A Review”
“….no accountability, no sacrifice, no dying to self, no repentance.”
Hmmmm….. an interesting charge to level at a woman who has spent the last half decade of her life being utterly repentant for the things she once did in ignorance and error, and has traveled all over the country, at her own expense, and at considerable sacrifice to herself and her reputation in the community that she once called her own, in order to live out that repentance. Perhaps the “problem” is that the community she is calling to sacrifice and repentance is one that utterly refuses to hear the message, thinking it’s reserved for conveniently distant and others, who practice so-called sins that they themselves are conveniently not tempted to.
[Reply]
Claire Reply:
September 14th, 2011 at 10:43 am
“….no accountability, no sacrifice, no dying to self, no repentance.”
This seems to be the common idea of christians who believe being gay is about pleasure and parties. I must say that as a closeted gay person, lying to my family, friends and other lgbt people about my orientation and repeating the false doctrine that if you pray enough, God will take it away, I felt safer because I was in favor of my church, family, friends and I knew I had financial support for the future.
After a heartbreaking encounter with an lgbt girl in Barbados(a country that does not tolerate homosexuality) in which I finally had to decide whether to continue lying or question WHY we were born the way we were. I decided “No more lies.” The truth came at a very great cost. I lost many friends, my church, the trust of my family, my “good reputation” and my financial support for college. Coming out is an extremely humbling experience in which you are constantly put on the spot, falsely accused, stereotyped and hated by people who claim to know love. Humility gives birth to love with much toil as we learn to die to our pride, let go of our image and love the lives of people who care nothing for ours.
Every day, I must repent of my hate or disdain of people who call me derogatory names. I must repent of the bitterness I have toward those who falsely accuse me. I must repent and I must thank God for making me the way I am, dedicating by being to him, lest I become self absorbed.
The Christian life requires accountability, sacrifice, dying to self and repentance. It is a difficult life that can only be achieved with guidance from above and this guidance is offered to all.
[Reply]
The message of the cross concerns God revealing His glory, power, majesty, and LOVE to all people. Yes, this message calls us to sacrificial love and to pour out our lives in service towards the persons God brings us into contact with.
All too often I notice that Christians declare other people to be “unrepentant.” It seems to be much easier to identify sin in other people’s lives than to see the sin present in our own lives. Jesus’ love radically transforms how we live our lives in this world. …but in my experience, these transformations are incredibly difficult to predict.
For instance, we know that Christ had a very meaningful encounter with the woman at the well where He exposed an occasion of sin in her life: she was living with someone who was not her husband. But we actually do not know what her repentance looked like. I suspect that because of her encounter with Jesus, His love for her profoundly shaped how she loved the world around her. People can project that she moved out of the house that she was living in; however, such a projection is merely a projection.
Learning to love requires radical sacrifice. What does authentic love look like? Christ not only sat with people, but He also ate with them. He allowed the sinful woman to create a scandal when she bathed his feet with her tears. He constantly exposed how the hearts of the Pharisees and HIS OWN DISCIPLES missed the mark of love.
If we dismiss “Jesus loves you” as a false teaching, then I think we ignore the most potent reality of the Gospel: that Christ voluntarily of His own will came to be born a child, live among us, enter into the darkest places of human existence through His death on the cross, and radically restores us and the whole of creation to relationship with God through His resurrection and ascension into heaven.
[Reply]
Of course it is the “Jesus” they want! Who wouldn’t? Your “Jesus” requires no accountability, no sacrifice, no dying to self, no repentance. But, unfortunately with your false message, there is also no salvation. You are loving people STR8 to hell. Did you mention to these people when you were telling them about how accepting and loving Jesus is, that is was Jesus himself who said He did not come to bring peace, but a sword?
The message of the cross is not something an unsaved person, or even a saved person living in unrepentant sin, wants to hear. Just like someone’s sexual practices, straight or queer, is not something I want to hear about, but unfortunately it is much more in my face than the faithful street preacher who are simply speaking God’s Word. God says His word will not return to Him void. So, you don’t know what impact they have/had on people walking by. Just because you didn’t see any “fruitful” engagements, that does not mean God did not work.
You are the one writing about them preaching “hate” and calling the preachers “crazy.” Who’s the judging one here. You are a hypocrite and make a mockery Christ.
“For Christ sent me not to baptize, but to preach the gospel: not in wisdom of words, lest the cross of Christ should be made void. For the word of the cross is to them that perish foolishness; but unto us who are saved it is the power of God. For it is written, I will destroy the wisdom of the wise, And the discernment of the discerning will I bring to nought.” 1 Corinth. 17-19.
[Reply]
Tim A Reply:
September 6th, 2011 at 9:53 am
Mollusk — so what was Christ’s message? Wasn’t it Love God & Love your Neighbor? Tearing your neighbor down for something that is inate is not love. It’s the same as when schools forced left-handed children to use their right hand for things because it was the “correct” way to do things.
Do you not trust the Holy Spirit to work in people’s lives? Bring people to Chirst and let God do the work… it’s not your job to change someone. Let God do it in whatever way He wants… even if that means that some people will continue to be gay in His service.
[Reply]
Mollusk Reply:
September 6th, 2011 at 10:43 am
Loving God is being obedient to Him. We do not “bring people to Christ” …that is solely the work of God and His Spirit. “And we urge you, brethren, to recognize those who labor among you, and are over you in the Lord and admonish you, and to esteem them very highly in love for their work’s sake. Be at peace among yourselves.” 1 Thess 5:11-13.
[Reply]
Tim A Reply:
September 6th, 2011 at 1:00 pm
So using hateful rhetoric to push others from Christ is OK??
1 Cor 8:13 “So if what I eat causes another believer to sin, I will never eat meat again as long as I live–for I don’t want to cause another believer to stumble.”
If you want to believe that God condemns homosexuality, that is your right. I and the majority of the people who read this site do not agree with your interpretation…. and it IS an interpretation.
“But avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and arguments and quarrels about the law, because these are unprofitable and useless.” Titus 3:9
“Because I have the right to worship as I choose, I have the responsibility to honor the right of others to worship as they see fit.” — Glenn Beck.
Kathy | Canyonwalker Reply:
September 6th, 2011 at 11:32 am
How interesting Julia. If you knew ANYTHING about me, anything, you would NEVER say that about the Jesus I believe in. You do not like my end message that is contrary to yours, so you discount the faith and practice of it that I hold. Hey, Julia, I am SOOOO comfortable with the Spirit in me. Could id be possible that if you label it as NOT GOD, that you might be guilty of blasphemy–calling what is of God not of God? I stand by what I wrote. The street preachers were hateful, I saw no fruitful engagements and the street preachers are my definition of crazy. Thank you though for your opinions. I appreciate your taking the time to read the posts. I would hope you would read other posts. Oh, and one more thing, You are assuming all the people I spoke to are NOT Christians. Not so. MOST had been raised in the faith and left. Read again what I told them. Come back.
[Reply]
Mollusk Reply:
September 6th, 2011 at 12:00 pm
Your message is not contrary to mine, it is contrary to God’s. No need to reply.
“But avoid foolish and ignorant disputes, knowing that they generate strife. And a servant of the Lord must not quarrel but be gentle to all, able to teach, patient, in humility correcting those who are in opposition, if God perhaps will grant them repentance, so that they may know the truth, and that they may come to their senses and escape the snare of the devil, having been taken captive by him to do his will.” 2 Timothy 2:23:26
[Reply]
Kathy | Canyonwalker Reply:
September 6th, 2011 at 12:21 pm
I will reply then to future readers. Your message on this difficult topic is based on YOUR translation as is mine. I would suggest those that wonder where I come to my conclusions go to the VERSES link at the top of the blog. I can support my theology with Word, revelation of Jesus in my life, the witness in the life of others. What I then “do” is in alignment with all this. I would term it as in alignment with God as well. And I see AMAZING fruit in what I get to do and in my own life. All indications are that I am in the center of His will. I understand that others will not agree and that is okay with me. I only look to serve God, and feel that I do. Thanks for the interaction Julia. If you ever get a chance, check out this affirming church service on line: http://www.diversitychristianfellowship.com/online/sermons/video.php See if you see the Holy Spirit?
““This is the Jesus we want.” “This is the Jesus we love.” “We want her Jesus, not yours!””
And so does everyone else. That’s really the point, isn’t it?
Personally, I’d have alot more respect for the street preachers types if their “Thus-saith-the-Lords” were *ever* directed at people with real actual *power,* and if if saying them involved any real risk to those doing the preaching, instead of always somehow being directed at some conveniently socially objectionable “least of these”. Spiritual cheap shots are spiritual cheap shots, no matter how you slice it.
[Reply]
wow, I hadn’t heard about your preaching moment…. wish I could have been there for that. Like Peter at Pentecost, or Paul at Mars hill… You are amazing. God bless & protect you.
…and of course you know that this whole thing has to be in your book!
[Reply]
Thank you, Kathy. Bless you. You. Are. Amazing.
[Reply]
Perhaps I should get a “Jesus would hug you and so will I.” shirt or something to that effect.
[Reply]
“These kids will never get to the Banquet Table of God if you lock the Dining Room door and make the “secret password “heterosexual”.”
That was a MOST amazing statement Kathy!! As always your writing moved my heart and brought me to tears…especially when you wrote of raising your hand and preaching! Thank you!! Thank you for doing that!
Brown may “pity” you…but I dare say, he and the screechers need the pity, because one day they will have to give an account for every word they uttered that day! If they replay their own video tapes, I would hope they realize that!
Thank you again Kathy! You are truly a gem…we your friends cherish you!!
Love in Christ Jesus,
Lance
[Reply]
People like you are why I continue to speak out regardless of the names I’m called for being gay and Christian… you give me hope. I went through years of internal torment, pretty much living asexually because I could not reconcile my faith with my attractions… so I buried them. Nobody needs to be anything other than the beautiful person God created them to be… Yes, that includes Chaz Bono (who I look forward to watching on Dancing with the Stars). Salvation is personal. Someone else can not do anything for my Salvation, but they can do plenty to turn me away from God. The Bible speaks of NOT causing someone else’s faith to stumble by your words and actions. You do not cause others to stumble, but build them up in Christ. God bless.
[Reply]
Love this post Kathy! It must be heartbreaking to hear what people have gone through, but so rewarding knowing they are FINALLY hearing the truth. They are precious in His sight. I’d love to get a video of all the testimonies you have heard. I bet it would be earth shattering. Blessings!! xoxo
[Reply]