>

Three Things My GLBT Christian Friends Want You to Hear

There are several comments I hear repeated about my gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender friends.  I could stand at a podium all day to dispel myths, clarify issues and question biased thinking.  it usually can be

Micah

reduced to three points that non GLBT (gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender)  people get stuck on consistently.  I can say hundreds of thousands of words on the topic of the gay community,  and GLBT Christians specifically, and the words will not penetrate the thinking processes of many people. The wall of  I-have-already-decided,  and often, ignorance, is already well constructed and the gates tightly shut.

 

If there is no  to little understanding in the three key issues, the conversation wraps in circles,  tangles in frustration and dies in anger.  Here is what my GLBT Christian friends want straight Christians  to hear. If you cannot at minimum understand that there may be some authenticity in these statements, you will in all likelihood be cutting out quality relationship with your homosexual and transgender relations.  Simply reduced:

  1. Translation. The Bible has 5-7 verses that are associated with same sex behavior.  Not one of those verses refers to mutually loving relationships. Not one. Every instance refers to sex in the context of idol/cultic worship, rape or violence, prostitution or abuse.
  2. Transformation. You can indeed be a gay Christian.  Profession of faith in Jesus Christ as the Savior followed by fruits of the Holy Spirit are indicators.  The Bible says “whosoever” clearly.
  3. Creation.  People are born straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender (with a range of variation in this one).  No one chooses orientation.

My blogsite CanyonwalkerConnections.com helps in looking at each of these statements in greater depth. If you cannot get beyond considering the possibility that there could be some validity of these statements, the likelihood is quite low that you will enjoy healthy, respectful and loving relationships with your GLBT friends and family. Of course, there are exceptions.  The reality is however, that by denying anyone of these

Anthony & Kathy

possibility of truth in these statements,   you are indeed discounting the person at some level.

 

How many times have you said “hate the sin, love the sinner”.  I don’t need to run that through Snopes.com to know this is not even in the Bible.  A more accurate Bible summary  would be “love and serve each person and hate your own sin”.  If your stance is as follows:

  • homosexuality is strictly condemned in the Bible
  • if one is gay, they cannot have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ
  • being gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender is a decision

then you are the barrier to forming and maintaining your relationships with GLBT people.  If I viewed you as unacceptable within my standards, discounted the most basic part of your being,  spirituality and faith as broken and told you that you must no longer talk to me about  your partner, how closely do you think our lives would intermingle?  As a mother, I know that the greatest gifts to my children  I  offer are love, acceptance and security.  All the other stuff is fluff.  These are the things of relationship: love, acceptance and security.

Angelica

In considering  your relationships with GLBT people especially family members:

  • are you loving (the Jesus kind of loving as in I Corinthians 13:4)?
  • do you accept GLBT people for who they are, not who you want them to be? We are not even permitted to tell The Potter that we are dissatisfied with the way He made us. So, what gives? We get to complain that someone else is not who we want them to be?
  • have you distanced yourself from GLBT people because you are uncomfortable?  We have lost the importance of the Biblical directive to be hospitable.   The first qualification of a church leader is  . . . ta-da . . . hospitality.  Are you welcoming? Or have you created distance?  Please don’t lay this at the feet of “them”.  If you continually  treated  me as if there were something broken in me, I will stay away.

Translation.

Each of the verses of sections or Scriptures that are used in the discussion of same sex behavior and the Bible are looked at in detail in the blog. Please, invest some time to perhaps see a point of view that you may not

Estelle

have previously considered.  Lots of reading and listed resources are available on the rest of my blogsite.

 

Transformation.

Sarah

According the research at the Barna Institute, 60% of GLBT adults say their faith is “very important” in their lives.  And, 70% of GLBT people consider themselves to be Christians.  The final number may challenge the “can’t be gay and Christian” group greatly:  58% have made “a personal commitment to Jesus Christ that is still important in (their) life today.”

We each have our own assessment scale of what authentic Christian faith may look like.  At it’s simplest definition, it is a profession in and surrender to Jesus Christ as the payment for our sins .   Jesus becomes the role model and we  grow in exhibiting the fruits of the Holy Spirit.  The Red-Letter Jesus ups the ante  in Matthew when He says “I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for Me. Then they will go away to eternal punishment, the righteous to eternal life.” Add to that the directives of Isaiah 58 to “loose the chains of injustice” and “spend yourself in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed”, and we are held to a whole new level of what the evidence of our faith looks like.

Before you pick at the menusha of someone else’s position in Christ, grapple with and inspect your own fruits as evidence.  If a GLBT person says they have put their faith in Jesus the Mighty Liberator and you see fruits of the Holy Spirit in their lives, then treat them as you would any other sorely flawed believer. Focus on getting the Matthew and Isaiah things working in your life and stop quoting verses at them.  They are your brothers and sisters in Christ. They are not stepchildren to God; they get the full inheritance.  Please, respectfully treat them as such.

Creation.

No I cannot show you the “gay gene”, nor can I show you the heterosexual gene.  Uncommon or minority does not mean wrong or deviant.  GLBT people know as early as 5 that they are feeling things differently than those around them. By puberty, most are more aware and trying to find answers and reasons.  Their attractions are set before one thought of sexual attraction ever hits their genitals.

Science is beginning to show us differences between homosexuals and heterosexuals:

  • Male birth order.  The more sons a woman has, the higher the likelihood is that he will be gay. Homosexuality is in roughly 3% of first sons and the number increases about 1% for each subsequent son.  The suspicion is that there is a maternal immune response to foreign substances caused by male fetuses.  This is not true for female fetuses.  With each pregnancy, the maternal antibodies increase and may prevent the male fetuses’ brain from developing in a typical heterosexual male fashion.
  • The brains of gay males are more closely related to that of a straight women and more dissimilar to that of a heterosexual male.  Go look at the science on this for yourself; Google “gay male brain”.
  • Fingerprint patterns. The fingerprint patterns of gay men are similar to those of heterosexual women.  Fingerprint  ridges are complete by week 16 and the suspicion is prenatal hormones are the influencer.
  • Left handedness.  Homosexual men have a 39% more chance of being left handed than heterosexual men.  (I wondered why I seem to have so many left handed gay friends!)
  • Hearing. Lesbians have a more male-typical cochlear ear anatomy.  Their ear structure is between the typical male and heterosexual female.

Kandis

True, no gay gene, but,  people do not make choices to change the prenatal hormones they wash in as a  fetus, nor do they  redesign their brains,  nor add ridges to their fingerprints,  nor do they switch the hand with which they write or change the structure of their ear bones. The scientific evidence is certainly there to substantiate pre-birth differences, and, the body of knowledge and evidence is growing.

I will say that I do believe there are a small number of cases where early sexual abuse may have distorted the intended orientation.  To make this the standard reason  for being gay is destructive on so many levels.  The occurrence of sexual abuse is just as high in the heterosexual population.  Yet, we  continually repeat this distortion and lie and impose guilt and shame on the backs on parents of GLBT children.

You are probably thinking, “But I know of a person who was gay ,  is now straight and is married with children. So there! It was a choice, he repented of his sin and lifestyle and is now straight, the way God intended him to be”.  Common retort.  We may indeed each know this “someone”.  Sexual attraction is on a continuum.  Oh that life would be as simple as black and white.

  • Since the late 40’s, the Kinsey Scale has been a way of assessing sexual attraction. If you have no sexual attraction to the same sex, you are a 0.It goes all the way up  to a 6 where there is NO sexual attraction to the opposite sex.  Can 4’s and 5’s experience some level of attraction to the opposite sex? Yes, some.  Can 2’s and 3’s experience some attraction to the same sex? Yes, some.  In that space between 2 and 5, there are variations and even bisexuals who can be attracted to either sex.  The “someone” we each know, in all likelihood is in that  3 or  4  range  or maybe in the 5 range and struggling a lot , or
  • they may indeed be healed of sexual abuse that shifted their orientation.  Again,  if you  feel compelled to place all your GLBT friends that you want to fix into this category, go back and read the above again until you get what I am saying.
  • That “someone” may be living a lie as a heterosexual to conform to societal, familial and spiritual pressures.  Think this is far fetched and uncommon?  It is quite common in the 40 to 70 year old range of many of my GLBT friends. (They younger generations are coming out sooner and not getting trapped in this disaster.)  They get married hoping to “change”, or they need to conform for acceptance, or they want a family.  How do they do the sexual intercourse  part? A whole lot of fantasizing.  They often do indeed love their partner romantically, but not sexually.  Both parties lose out and most often, the marriage and family falls apart.  These are called mixed orientation marriages.  A good resource to read is “The Other Side of the Closet” by Amity Pierce Buxton.

Check out the site of some of my friends at Ex Gay Watch and Box Turtle Bulletin for stories and information from people who have tried the reorientation or reparative therapy route to stop being gay.There is excellent insight in these sites from people who experienced it first hand.

A quick word on behalf of  my transgender friends—please read my post entitled “Can Size 14 Heels Keep You Out of Heaven?” There is another level of understanding needed when considering transgender folks. .

Netto & Kathy

Briefly, for the GL and B people, the issue is sexual attraction. For the T community, it is about gender orientation.   I know this is complicated for straight Christians who need to assign everything  into tidy lists that they understand.  Good thing God is not limited by our minds or creation abilities.  I would have made it all much simpler, but far less interesting. Actually, no I would not.  I really like the differences now that I have some level of comprehension. My life is quite colorful.

Well, that is the short list of “please hear me”s of the GLBT Christian community.  Visit my website and poking around at articles of interest to you. You can interact with me, but I would strongly encourage you to interact with you GLBT family member or friend.  Ask them their story and listen.  We have for too long imposed our neat, tidy and biased story on their lives.  They can tell you when they knew they were gay; they can share with you the path to accepting their orientation and knowing  of the waiting discrimination They will tell you about the struggle to stay connected to God the Loving Father when the other sibs kept pushing them away and telling them there was no room at the Table for them.  They will tell you about the one they love from the depth of their being.  And when they do all this talking because you are finally listening, listen some more.  There are stories and sharing that has been pent up for years when you would not/could not/did not give ear to them.

Lenny & Ryan

The GLBT community is about 18,000,000 strong in the United States. They are not the majority, but they are our friends, co workers, relatives, sisters, brothers, sons, daughters, mothers and fathers.  If they are brave enough to trust you by being open, then listen.  Discrimination is ugly no matter how nicely you may wrap it in a Bible with gold leaf pages.  We have used a Book of Love to hurt.   I pray that you will hear me for them and that you have the courage to humble yourself and consider that you may not have been correct or informed.  They are loved and accepted by the God that created them. I know many of us have had very good intentions when we interact and speak “the truth in love”. We do not want to see anyone go to hell and be separated from God forever.  That is honorable.  The way we have gone about this concern is quite twisted.  And considering the GLBT community that will not even come into our congregation doors  because of our bad behavior (did you catch that our bad behavior), try loving and serving. People rarely get argued into the Kingdom of God.

I hope you see this “love the sinner, hate the sin”  is a smokescreen for fear (for that is the opposite of love) and discrimination;   it is not even in the Bible. Just stop it.  Please. Find your own words for what is going on inside you.  What is causing the fear? If you are wrong about this, will your belief system collapse?  Is it too scary to not understand and not have all the answers? When I see people treating others poorly, I know the problem is not between them and the target, it is between them and God. What grace work do you and God need to do?

Ed

I hope you will take some time to see if maybe there is some worth to what I am writing.  A few hours of your time to repair relationship,  to act like Jesus to someone, or perhaps  to see the injustice.  Where can you find a bargain like that?   Drop your swords, drop to your knees and open your hearts.  Listen, learn and love.

I will be creating a space on Facebook with a discussion area. Maybe we can begin some intellectual Christlike dialogue?  I dig it when I can differ with someone and we do it respectfully. Ultimately, face to face, heart to heart and humble spirit to humble spirit is where this will be hashed out. If I can be of assistance to a group of you, contact me and let me know.

Holy Spirit wisdom, peace, mercy , compassion and grace to you and in you, Kathy

All the pictures in this blogpost are from my GLBT Christian friends. You’ll meet these wonderful people on a Street of Gold one day.

RELATED POSTS:

 Scripture and Homosexuality: A Look at the Verses
“Day of Dialogue” from Focus on the Family is Not a Jesus-Action
Dear Alan, My Friends are Gay, Not Broken
“Ten Lies about the glbt Community Told by Conservative hate Groups | A Straight Christian Perspective”
Statistics That Lie | “The Dutch Gay Marriage Study”
Focus on the Family: You Make Us Look Stupid, Stop Lying
“Medical Consequences of What Homosexuals Do”, Come on, Really?

Comments

comments

Post Author

This post was written by who has written 174 posts on .

12 Responses to “Three Things My GLBT Christian Friends Want You to Hear”

  1. min. darlene gray October 2, 2010 at 9:53 am #

    thank you for your courage, love and integrity. You stepped out in faith that God would cover and protect you in this. Evangelicals and Right Wingers can be very hostile and violent when you oppose their views. but Isaiah 54:17 will protect you. God bless

    [Reply]

    Kathy Reply:

    already highlighted in my Bible and NOW–circled too!!!! Thank you!!!!

    [Reply]

  2. Jacob Woods August 22, 2010 at 7:57 am #

    I feel like a bumper car. I found you again and before I could not find your site. To regards to your post. I really enjoyed it. I think that it is great that you are bridging a gap between sexuality and religion.

    [Reply]

  3. Angela August 13, 2010 at 4:05 pm #

    I didn’t get time to read the whole blog yet, but I’ll post a link on my Facebook.

    [Reply]

  4. ERLeClaire August 13, 2010 at 4:47 am #

    And so what is “GAY?” Before I Transitioned I was, as far as the world was concerned, a STRAIGHT, and HETEROSEXUAL MALE who had a wife and family. I had congenital issues, and like my father certain anomaly genitally and also was a DES baby (DES a known endocrine blocker given to pregnant women). Later in life I Transitioned to a more normal life, that of a FEMALE. However, in doing so, I am now expected to also suddenly be attracted to men? I am not! I can not, as a anatomical and legally vested FEMALE, now remarry my ex-spouse a woman, and in many places am not accepted so as to legally marry a man (Again, I am not interested in men, or at least have not found one that works.) Yet, in all of this, and in even the gay accepting church environments it is common for half to think I Transitioned because I was gay so I could have sex with guys. Think about that! What would a gay guy want with me who has a vagina? Then the other half thinks me gay to be a lesbian. It is crazy, and insane. God is not a god of confusion. God is a God of LOVE, MEANING, and ONE who embraces TRUTH! I simply say this, …….. “If you Love GOD, then you must Love all of His Creation. Even those who are called an enemy. And if you are Truly a Godly child, then you would weep with bleeding tears over even one person you feel is going to hell – EVEN ONE!

    However, those who are bitter and hateful towards me, who has no relationship, is single (Not that I would not desperately want an intimate soul for a mate), and is set on a life to honor and glorify CHRIST, …. Well, what does that say about you?

    Estelle R. LeCLaire

    [Reply]

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Was Sodom Really Destroyed Because of Homosexuality | - December 20, 2011

    [...] “Three Things My GLBT Christian Friends Want You to Hear” [...]

  2. The Ten Lies about the GLBT Community Told by Conservative Hate Groups: a Straight Christian Perspective | Canyonwalker Connections - August 5, 2011

    [...] Look Stupid, Stop Lying “Medical Consequences of What Homosexuals Do”, Come on, Really? Three Things My GLBT Christian Friends Want You to Hear[Before this site was migrated to a new server, there were over 12K shares on this post. thank you [...]

  3. Dear Alan, My Friends are Gay, Not Broken | Canyonwalker Connections - August 5, 2011

    [...] Look Stupid, Stop Lying “Medical Consequences of What Homosexuals Do”, Come on, Really? Three Things My GLBT Christian Friends Want You to Hear [...]

  4. Statistics That Lie | "Dutch Gay Marriage Study" | Canyonwalker Connections - August 5, 2011

    [...] Statistics That Lie | "Dutch Gay Marriage Study" | Canyonwalker Connections .al2fb_widget_comments { } .al2fb_widget_comments li { } .al2fb_widget_picture { width: 32px; height: 32px; } .al2fb_widget_name { } .al2fb_widget_comment { } .al2fb_widget_date { font-size: smaller; } /* */ .addtoany_subscribe img{border:0;} // .wppt_float_left {float:left;margin:0 1.5em 0.5em 0; padding:3px;border:1px solid #ddd;} .wppt_float_right {float:right;margin:0 0 0.5em 1.5em; padding:3px;border:1px solid #ddd;} #logo .site-title, #logo .site-description { display:block; } body {background-image:url(http://canyonwalkerconnections.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/cracked-ground-150×150.jpg);background-repeat:repeat;background-position:top center;border-top:4px solid #331f0e;} hr, .entry img, img.thumbnail, .entry .wp-caption, #footer-widgets, #comments, #comments .comment.thread-even, #comments ul.children li, .entry h1{border-color:#331f0e} a:link, a:visited {color:#b0812a} a:hover {color:#331f0e} .button, .reply a {background-color:#85560f} #header {background-repeat:no-repeat;background-position:top center;margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;padding-top:40px;padding-bottom:30px;border:0px solid ;} #logo .site-title a {font:normal 48px/1em Palatino, "Palatino Linotype", serif;color:#222222} #logo .site-description {font:italic 17px/1em "Trebuchet MS", Tahoma, sans-serif;color:#57381e} #wrapper {padding-left:30px; padding-right:30px;background-color:#c6c7bf;margin-top:10px;margin-bottom:10px;border-top:2px solid #3b2e11;border-bottom:2px solid #3b2e11;border-left:2px solid #3b2e11;border-right:2px solid #3b2e11;border-radius:10px;-moz-border-radius:10px;-webkit-border-radius:10px;box-shadow: 0px 1px 5px rgba(0,0,0,.3);-moz-box-shadow: 0px 1px 5px rgba(0,0,0,.3);-webkit-box-shadow: 0px 1px 5px rgba(0,0,0,.3);} #logo .site-title a {font:normal 48px/1em Palatino, "Palatino Linotype", serif;color:#222222} #logo .site-description {font:italic 17px/1em "Trebuchet MS", Tahoma, sans-serif;color:#57381e} body, p {font:normal 14px/1.5em Tahoma, Geneva, Verdana, sans-serif;color:#555555} h1 {font:normal 28px/1.5em Tahoma, Geneva, Verdana, sans-serif;color:#222222}h2 {font:normal 24px/1.5em Tahoma, Geneva, Verdana, sans-serif;color:#402e15}h3 {font:normal 20px/1.5em Tahoma, Geneva, Verdana, sans-serif;color:#402e15}h4 {font:normal 16px/1.5em Tahoma, Geneva, Verdana, sans-serif;color:#402e15}h5 {font:normal 14px/1.5em Tahoma, Geneva, Verdana, sans-serif;color:#402e15}h6 {font:normal 12px/1.5em Tahoma, Geneva, Verdana, sans-serif;color:#402e15} .post .title, .page .title, .post .title a:link, .post .title a:visited, .page .title a:link, .page .title a:visited {font:bold 24px/1.2em Tahoma, Geneva, Verdana, sans-serif;color:#222222} .post-meta, .post-meta .post-author a {font:normal 11px/1.2em Arial, sans-serif;color:#868686} .entry, .entry p{font:normal 16px/1.5em Arial, sans-serif;color:#555555} .post-more {font:normal 12px/1.5em Arial, sans-serif;color:#868686;border-top:2px solid #e6e6e6;border-bottom:1px solid #e6e6e6;} #comments .comment.thread-even {background-color:#d4d3d2;} .nav-entries, .wp-pagenavi {border-top:1px solid #e6e6e6;border-bottom:4px solid #e6e6e6;} .nav-entries a, .wp-pagenavi a:link, .wp-pagenavi a:visited, .wp-pagenavi .current, .wp-pagenavi .on, .wp-pagenavi a:hover, .wp-pagenavi span.extend, .wp-pagenavi span.pages {font:italic 12px/1.5em Georgia, serif;color:#777777!important} .wp-pagenavi a:link, .wp-pagenavi a:visited, .wp-pagenavi span.extend, .wp-pagenavi span.pages, .wp-pagenavi span.current {color:#777777!important} .widget h3 {font:bold 16px/1.5em Tahoma, Geneva, Verdana, sans-serif;color:#555555;border-bottom:3px solid #e6e6e6;} .widget_recent_comments li, #twitter li { border-color: #e6e6e6;} .widget p, .widget .textwidget {font:normal 14px/1.5em Tahoma, Geneva, Verdana, sans-serif;color:#555555;} .widget {font:normal 14px/1.5em Tahoma, Geneva, Verdana, sans-serif;color:#555555;border-radius:0px;-moz-border-radius:0px;-webkit-border-radius:0px;} #tabs .inside li a {font:bold 12px/1.5em Tahoma, Geneva, Verdana, sans-serif;color:#555555;} #tabs .inside li span.meta, #tabs ul.wooTabs li a {font:normal 11px/1.5em Tahoma, Geneva, Verdana, sans-serif;color:#777777;} .nav a, #navigation ul.rss a {font:normal 14px Tahoma, Geneva, Verdana, sans-serif;color:#555555} .nav a:hover, .nav li.current_page_item, .nav li.current_page_parent {background-color:#d1cbbc} #navigation {border-top:2px solid #dbdbdb;border-bottom:4px solid #dbdbdb;border-left:0px solid #dbdbdb;border-right:0px solid #dbdbdb;border-radius:0px; -moz-border-radius:0px; -webkit-border-radius:0px;} #footer, #footer p {font:italic 14px Tahoma, Geneva, Verdana, sans-serif;color:#777777} #footer {border-top:2px solid #dbdbdb;border-bottom:0px solid ;border-left:0px solid ;border-right:0px solid ;border-radius:0px; -moz-border-radius:0px; -webkit-border-radius:0px;} .magazine #loopedSlider .content h2.title a {font:bold 20px/1em Tahoma, Geneva, Verdana, sans-serif;color:#ffffff;} .magazine #loopedSlider .content .excerpt p {font:normal 14px/1.5em Tahoma, Geneva, Verdana, sans-serif;color:#ffffff;} .business #loopedSlider .content h2.title a {font:bold 24px/1em Arial, sans-serif;color:#ffffff;} .business #loopedSlider .content p {font:normal 12px/1.5em Tahoma, Geneva, Verdana, sans-serif;color:#cccccc;} .recentcomments a{display:inline !important;padding:0 !important;margin:0 !important;} .vvqbox { display: block; max-width: 100%; visibility: visible !important; margin: 10px auto; } .vvqbox img { max-width: 100%; height: 100%; } .vvqbox object { max-width: 100%; } // .editComment, .editableComment, .textComment{ display: inline; } .comment-childs{ border: 1px solid #999; margin: 5px 2px 2px 4px; padding: 4px 2px 2px 4px; background-color: white; } .chalt{ background-color: #E2E2E2; } #newcomment{ border:1px dashed #777;width:90%; } #newcommentsubmit{ color:red; } .adminreplycomment{ border:1px dashed #777; width:99%; margin:4px; padding:4px; } .mvccls{ color: #999; } Canyonwalker Connections Repairing the Breach Between the Church and the GLBT Christian CommunityHOMEMARRIAGE: “I DO” FOR WHO?VERSESWas Sodom Really Destroyed Because it was Gay City?Hello, I’m a Detestable Abomination|Looking at Leviticus and DeuteronomyRomans 1: 26 – 32 . . . to Whom Was This Directed?Are You In or Out? I Corinthians and I TimothySTR8 APOLOGYORDER APOLOGY T-SHIRTSLIST OF GAY PRIDE EVENTS 2011REPARATIVE THERAPYTRANSGENDERBISEXUALSRESOURCESSPEAKINGCONTACTCANYONWALKER | KATHYThe Trail to UnderstandingBOARDDONATIONSSubscribe to RSSStatistics That Lie | "The Dutch Gay Marriage Study" by Kathy | Canyonwalker on 9:04 pm in Not So Nice Folks, People & Statistics That Lie, Reparative Therapy, Sexual Orientation | Gender Identity, UncategorizedIf you were to go a few miles east of where I live in Nevada to the legalized houses of prostitution and conduct a “sexual contacts” survey of the sex workers, would it be fair to extrapolate those findings to the general heterosexual female population?  To me? Of course not.If you were to likewise go to an AIDS/HIV/STD clinic and conduct a “sexual contacts” survey  on  gay men, would it be fair to extrapolate those findings to the general gay male population?  Again, of course not.But, that type of irrational statistical abuse has actually occurred, and, the deception of this particular “study” is far worse .One “fact” concerning gay men is repeated often.  It is very consistent in its repetition of the details:  committed gay male relationships/marriages last, on average, only one and a half years.  Each partner has an average of eight sexual relationships outside of that relationship/marriage. Sounds pretty damning.I’ve heard these numbers for years. I get baffled by it; I know hundreds, maybe thousands of gay people and these findings just do not made sense to me. Why is there a vast difference between what I know and what is repeated as truth?The origin of the 1 1/2 years/8 partners stats  is cited with several sources, most commonly: the Netherlands Study and the Dutch Gay Marriage Study. Here is how the scenario often goes: “In the Netherlands, which is among the most liberal of nations in the world, gays have been able to be married. Yet, a study conducted there found that married men are not monogamous in their marriages.”  Blah, blah. Then you get the tsk-tsking stats of 1 ½ years average duration and 8 partners per. Ergo . . . lots of things:  gay people are not able to commit, gay people should not be married, gay people, in all that instability, should not be parents.  The list goes on. And, the rapid deterioration of the rocky pairing will take us all down the slippery path to the utter destruction of marriage and family.But, are those the results of the “Dutch Gay Marriage” study? Actually, asking what the purpose of the study is an even better place to start.First, the study had nothing to do with relationships; it was conducted by Dr. Maria Xiridou to find out how AIDS was transferring in a community. The study is actually called “The contribution of steady and casual partnerships in the incidence of HIV infection among homosexual men in Amsterdam.” With the stated objective being:  “To assess the relative contribution of steady and casual partnerships to the incidence of HIV infection among homosexual men in Amsterdam, and to determine the effect of increasing sexually risky behaviours among both types of partners in the era of highly active antiretroviral therapy (HAART).”   Hmmm, so, this was a study about sexual transmission of AIDS, not gay marriage?The study was conducted over a period of time from 1984 to 1996. Gay marriage became legal in the Netherlands in 2001. Hmmm, so, there were no married partners in the test group?The participants were limited to gay men under thirty years of age.  Hmmm, pretty tough to be in  a many- years relationship, marriage or not, when you are under thirty.Monogamous couples were excluded from the study. Hmmm, so the participants were not even required to be in declared committed relationships?  Hardly marriage-ish.The participants were taken from HIV/AIDS/STD clinic rosters. Hmmm, so the participants were already involved in risky sexual behaviors and, that was the only test group?The participants lived in metropolitan Amsterdam only. So, no suburban gay people, no gay  people from rural areas?  Just young, uncommitted, sexually active, risky behavior gay men? Well, that sure is an interesting test group for a gay marriage study, isn’t it?All this gathered info did give the researcher, Dr. Maria Xiridou, the scientific information she was seeking. The information she needed for the study she was doing on the test group for HIV/AIDS transmission in sexually active gay men.So, back to the opening question. Would it be fair to extrapolate these findings to the general gay male population ? Please respond “No”, or even better, “Hell, no!” So, why do we? We do it because it supports our fears, phobias and biases. And, unfortunately, the practice is common and that is exactly what is being done with these statistics.I did a quick search online or “Dr. Maria Xiridou”  to see who actually mis-uses this AIDS study to substantiate their less-than-lovely propaganda that touts  the sexual promiscuity and unworthy-to-marryness of the gay and lesbian community. Go ahead, check it out. Somewhere buried in the over 2,000 citations is her obscure actual study. Page after page, you will see the organizations that index this report in their websites as a variation of “the Dutch Gay Marriage Study” and use it to attack the notion of gay marriage.  Over and over, the “Dutch study on gay marriage” is cited.  You know the types of groups using these “facts”, I don’t need to detail them here. The gamut runs from  conservative family groups, to churches, to white supremacists organizations. It is used in the US and other countries. (Ugandans love this one.) Some preachers tell it from pulpits, from positions that inherently say “I speak for a Holy God and then they tell this lie. Often.I accept that many Christians may not share my theological views of full inclusion for gay and trans people into Christian churches. (Read this for my understanding of the Scriptures and why I believe what I do.)  But, I will not stay silent while lies are told and information is horribly manipulated so far beyond the scope of a study.  The twisting is used to exclude the gay community from families, churches and ultimately, equality.  And, sadly, it is not just on this study. When you see statistics that make you gasp and horrify you, they have probably been manipulated. Sad, but true.I would hope that Christians in particular could agree that it would be completely wrong to justify a lie simply because it  bolsters a personal theology. Duct tape words from the Bible together with a lie, put the Holy God stamp on the mess and present it as a missive from the very Throne of God.  I see that too much.The next time you hear this 1 ½ years, 8 partners garbage, forward this link along. I think most people actually just don’t know the facts. It suits their story. so they repeat it.  I intend to forward this post  to a pastor of a mega church in Dallas who spoke it on a podcast just last week. He told his congregation of over 3,000 this lie. And, the statistic never lie now, do they?If we could get all this trash and deceit out of the way, maybe we could engage in real dialogues? People are people, no matter their sexual orientation. We might actually find some common places to appreciate rather than fear one another.RELATED POSTS:Scripture and Homosexuality: A Look at the Verses “Day of Dialogue” from Focus on the Family is Not a Jesus-Action Dear Alan, My Friends are Gay, Not Broken “Ten Lies about the glbt Community Told by Conservative hate Groups | A Straight Christian Perspective” Focus on the Family: You Make Us Look Stupid, Stop Lying “Medical Consequences of What Homosexuals Do”, Come on, Really? Three Things My GLBT Christian Friends Want You to Hear [...]

  5. "A Queer Thing Happened to America" By Dr. Michael Brown | A Review | Canyonwalker Connections - August 5, 2011

    [...] "A Queer Thing Happened to America" By Dr. Michael Brown | A Review | Canyonwalker Connections .al2fb_widget_comments { } .al2fb_widget_comments li { } .al2fb_widget_picture { width: 32px; height: 32px; } .al2fb_widget_name { } .al2fb_widget_comment { } .al2fb_widget_date { font-size: smaller; } /* */ .addtoany_subscribe img{border:0;} // .wppt_float_left {float:left;margin:0 1.5em 0.5em 0; padding:3px;border:1px solid #ddd;} .wppt_float_right {float:right;margin:0 0 0.5em 1.5em; padding:3px;border:1px solid #ddd;} #logo .site-title, #logo .site-description { display:block; } body {background-image:url(http://canyonwalkerconnections.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/cracked-ground-150×150.jpg);background-repeat:repeat;background-position:top center;border-top:4px solid #331f0e;} hr, .entry img, img.thumbnail, .entry .wp-caption, #footer-widgets, #comments, #comments .comment.thread-even, #comments ul.children li, .entry h1{border-color:#331f0e} a:link, a:visited {color:#b0812a} a:hover {color:#331f0e} .button, .reply a {background-color:#85560f} #header {background-repeat:no-repeat;background-position:top center;margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;padding-top:40px;padding-bottom:30px;border:0px solid ;} #logo .site-title a {font:normal 48px/1em Palatino, "Palatino Linotype", serif;color:#222222} #logo .site-description {font:italic 17px/1em "Trebuchet MS", Tahoma, sans-serif;color:#57381e} #wrapper {padding-left:30px; padding-right:30px;background-color:#c6c7bf;margin-top:10px;margin-bottom:10px;border-top:2px solid #3b2e11;border-bottom:2px solid #3b2e11;border-left:2px solid #3b2e11;border-right:2px solid #3b2e11;border-radius:10px;-moz-border-radius:10px;-webkit-border-radius:10px;box-shadow: 0px 1px 5px rgba(0,0,0,.3);-moz-box-shadow: 0px 1px 5px rgba(0,0,0,.3);-webkit-box-shadow: 0px 1px 5px rgba(0,0,0,.3);} #logo .site-title a {font:normal 48px/1em Palatino, "Palatino Linotype", serif;color:#222222} #logo .site-description {font:italic 17px/1em "Trebuchet MS", Tahoma, sans-serif;color:#57381e} body, p {font:normal 14px/1.5em Tahoma, Geneva, Verdana, sans-serif;color:#555555} h1 {font:normal 28px/1.5em Tahoma, Geneva, Verdana, sans-serif;color:#222222}h2 {font:normal 24px/1.5em Tahoma, Geneva, Verdana, sans-serif;color:#402e15}h3 {font:normal 20px/1.5em Tahoma, Geneva, Verdana, sans-serif;color:#402e15}h4 {font:normal 16px/1.5em Tahoma, Geneva, Verdana, sans-serif;color:#402e15}h5 {font:normal 14px/1.5em Tahoma, Geneva, Verdana, sans-serif;color:#402e15}h6 {font:normal 12px/1.5em Tahoma, Geneva, Verdana, sans-serif;color:#402e15} .post .title, .page .title, .post .title a:link, .post .title a:visited, .page .title a:link, .page .title a:visited {font:bold 24px/1.2em Tahoma, Geneva, Verdana, sans-serif;color:#222222} .post-meta, .post-meta .post-author a {font:normal 11px/1.2em Arial, sans-serif;color:#868686} .entry, .entry p{font:normal 16px/1.5em Arial, sans-serif;color:#555555} .post-more {font:normal 12px/1.5em Arial, sans-serif;color:#868686;border-top:2px solid #e6e6e6;border-bottom:1px solid #e6e6e6;} #comments .comment.thread-even {background-color:#d4d3d2;} .nav-entries, .wp-pagenavi {border-top:1px solid #e6e6e6;border-bottom:4px solid #e6e6e6;} .nav-entries a, .wp-pagenavi a:link, .wp-pagenavi a:visited, .wp-pagenavi .current, .wp-pagenavi .on, .wp-pagenavi a:hover, .wp-pagenavi span.extend, .wp-pagenavi span.pages {font:italic 12px/1.5em Georgia, serif;color:#777777!important} .wp-pagenavi a:link, .wp-pagenavi a:visited, .wp-pagenavi span.extend, .wp-pagenavi span.pages, .wp-pagenavi span.current {color:#777777!important} .widget h3 {font:bold 16px/1.5em Tahoma, Geneva, Verdana, sans-serif;color:#555555;border-bottom:3px solid #e6e6e6;} .widget_recent_comments li, #twitter li { border-color: #e6e6e6;} .widget p, .widget .textwidget {font:normal 14px/1.5em Tahoma, Geneva, Verdana, sans-serif;color:#555555;} .widget {font:normal 14px/1.5em Tahoma, Geneva, Verdana, sans-serif;color:#555555;border-radius:0px;-moz-border-radius:0px;-webkit-border-radius:0px;} #tabs .inside li a {font:bold 12px/1.5em Tahoma, Geneva, Verdana, sans-serif;color:#555555;} #tabs .inside li span.meta, #tabs ul.wooTabs li a {font:normal 11px/1.5em Tahoma, Geneva, Verdana, sans-serif;color:#777777;} .nav a, #navigation ul.rss a {font:normal 14px Tahoma, Geneva, Verdana, sans-serif;color:#555555} .nav a:hover, .nav li.current_page_item, .nav li.current_page_parent {background-color:#d1cbbc} #navigation {border-top:2px solid #dbdbdb;border-bottom:4px solid #dbdbdb;border-left:0px solid #dbdbdb;border-right:0px solid #dbdbdb;border-radius:0px; -moz-border-radius:0px; -webkit-border-radius:0px;} #footer, #footer p {font:italic 14px Tahoma, Geneva, Verdana, sans-serif;color:#777777} #footer {border-top:2px solid #dbdbdb;border-bottom:0px solid ;border-left:0px solid ;border-right:0px solid ;border-radius:0px; -moz-border-radius:0px; -webkit-border-radius:0px;} .magazine #loopedSlider .content h2.title a {font:bold 20px/1em Tahoma, Geneva, Verdana, sans-serif;color:#ffffff;} .magazine #loopedSlider .content .excerpt p {font:normal 14px/1.5em Tahoma, Geneva, Verdana, sans-serif;color:#ffffff;} .business #loopedSlider .content h2.title a {font:bold 24px/1em Arial, sans-serif;color:#ffffff;} .business #loopedSlider .content p {font:normal 12px/1.5em Tahoma, Geneva, Verdana, sans-serif;color:#cccccc;} .recentcomments a{display:inline !important;padding:0 !important;margin:0 !important;} .vvqbox { display: block; max-width: 100%; visibility: visible !important; margin: 10px auto; } .vvqbox img { max-width: 100%; height: 100%; } .vvqbox object { max-width: 100%; } // .editComment, .editableComment, .textComment{ display: inline; } .comment-childs{ border: 1px solid #999; margin: 5px 2px 2px 4px; padding: 4px 2px 2px 4px; background-color: white; } .chalt{ background-color: #E2E2E2; } #newcomment{ border:1px dashed #777;width:90%; } #newcommentsubmit{ color:red; } .adminreplycomment{ border:1px dashed #777; width:99%; margin:4px; padding:4px; } .mvccls{ color: #999; } Canyonwalker Connections Repairing the Breach Between the Church and the GLBT Christian CommunityHOMEMARRIAGE: “I DO” FOR WHO?VERSESWas Sodom Really Destroyed Because it was Gay City?Hello, I’m a Detestable Abomination|Looking at Leviticus and DeuteronomyRomans 1: 26 – 32 . . . to Whom Was This Directed?Are You In or Out? I Corinthians and I TimothySTR8 APOLOGYORDER APOLOGY T-SHIRTSLIST OF GAY PRIDE EVENTS 2011REPARATIVE THERAPYTRANSGENDERBISEXUALSRESOURCESSPEAKINGCONTACTCANYONWALKER | KATHYThe Trail to UnderstandingBOARDDONATIONSSubscribe to RSS"A Queer Thing Happened to America" by Dr. Michael Brown | Review by Kathy | Canyonwalker on 2:01 pm in Be Kinder, Books, Not So Nice Folks, People & Statistics That Lie, Uncategorized“There’s your truth, my truth and the truth.” Christians should  make it standard operating procedure to stick closer to the truth. Too often we tilt on over to the “my truth” side if it bolsters our fears. The tilt, however,  has more damaging effects when the “truth”, yours or mine, is manipulated.Dr. Michael Brown, director of the Coalition of Conscience, and host of the daily, nationally, syndicated talk radio show, “The Line of Fire,” self published a 691 page book in March 2011 called “A Queer Thing Happened to America | And what a long, strange trip it’s been “. I contacted Michael and asked him for a copy of the book to review. I assured him I would be very honest in my assessments.Dr. Michael BrownI do not doubt that Michael Brown cares about the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender (GLBT) communities. He says repeatedly that he wrote this book in tears with love for the past six years. I believe that. I believe that he is burdened to care about the GLBT community. He says God told him to reach out the GLBT community with compassion and to resist with courage. I have no reason to doubt he is earnest in this desire.I have been in the “can’t be gay and Christian” camp.  I pitched my tent firmly there until events in my own life, unrelated to this topic, caused me to wonder if perhaps the truths that I held about my faith were really as solidly written in the pages of Scripture as I believed.  Questioning the rigid confines of the way things must be, allowed me to be open to considerations and  to doubt. It is not uncommon that difficulties cause both those scenarios; I emerged with greater faith and a better understanding of the rules/grace mixture.So, I have been there.  I had little or no relationships with GLBT people and a headful of opinions and “facts”.  I would have been right there with the followers of Dr. Brown quoting verses excluding GLBT people from God’s Kingdom. I would have been right along side those that wanted to tell gay people that they needed to not be gay in order to please God.  Until, that is, I allowed the discomfort of having my theology challenged.  My buddy Netto, a lesbian, agnostic Native American literally crossed my path on a hiking trail. God used Netto in the most  profound way to confront me about me beliefs about gay people.Over these past ten years, I have established relationship with about a thousand members of the GLBT community and an overwhelming majority of them are Christians. I have gone to conferences, worship services, seminars, had meals, done recreational events, parties, stayed at their homes, roomed with them, been at family events with them, and listened to thousands of stories. Thousands of stories. I have received hundreds of letters. Tens of thousands of exchanges in social media, e mail and calls.  I know this community. I have had  the extremely unique opportunity to be on both sides and I am a mature  Christian believer.  I am privy to the the innermost circles of the GLBT Christian community and have hundreds of non-Christian GLBT friends.  All this to say, I get it; I understand this messy place that much of the church struggles with.So,  what about the book?  This is the stated purpose of  “A Queer Thing Happened to America”  (AQTHTA) :  “to see how we got to this point in history, to examine some of the main lines of pro-gay thought, to consider the impact of gay activism on our society, and to ask the question: Where is the current trajectory taking us?”The book has fifteen chapters. I have written comments on about one third of the pages in my book.  Addressing all of my concerns  and  insights are not practical in a blog post.  The approach I will take it to state, as best I can, the point of each chapter followed by my opinion of  that section.THE STEALTH AGENDAThirty pages of documentation of the various sources of the “gay agenda”.  Mr. Brown builds his case for the development  and existence of the “gay agenda”. The Stonewall Riots in 1969 was the beginning of the Gay Liberation Movement. I agree. This was followed by the publishing of “Refugees from Amerika: Gay Manifesto” by Carl Whitman which Mr. Whitman says “never became dogma” and no one I know has ever read it.Next, there is the 1972 Gay Rights Platform presented by 200 GLBT attendees to the Democratic National Convention.  I love the internet; you can Google anything.  In all the searches on this 1972 event, the overwhelming majority of references to it were by conservative group telling the tale over and over as if it were  the seed of some major power ploy. One account even said there were 200 organizations represented. In 1972? Wow. Actually, the truth is five delegates presented their wish list at midnight and virtually no one was there to hear them and there were 200 GLBT people at the convention, not organizations as several of the references stated.“After the Ball: How America Will Conquer its Fears and Hatred of Gays in the 1990′s” is referred to dozens of times in AQTHTA.  It has a six-fold plan for the “gay revolution”.  Sounds terrifying.  Again, a Google search has all the conservatives referring to the plan and not one GLBT organization. If it is part of the “gay agenda”, shouldn’t some gay group be using it or alluding to it?The statement by Dr. Brown that stunned me was : “Ironically, when it comes to denying the existence of a gay agenda, there is immense unity in the gay community. Why? It is because the denial of that agenda is part of the agenda (although for some, it might be a sincere, heartfelt denial.” (pg 43)  What? I asked my gay friend Jeff if keeping the agenda a secret is indeed  part of the agenda and he said, “I can let you borrow my copy. I keep it behind my ear on microfilm for secret meetings.” (Gotta love Jeff.)You can ask one hundred gay people what the “gay agenda” is and you get an almost unanimous answer: “equality”.  The “gay agenda” that  threatens America with “the complete elimination of God and Christianity” , that “gay agenda” , was created by Jerry Falwell in the 1990′s to raise funds.  The “evil communist empire” was  gone and the Moral Majority and the Christian Coalition turned their eyes to the “evil homosexuals”  to raise funds and recruit volunteers. Pat Robertson warned his viewers regularly  on the 700 Club about the “gay agenda”.  That is where the threat and term were created.  In the meetings of  conservative religious and family groups. No wonder the GLBT community did not get a copy; they were not invited to the meetings. There  is a real gay agenda: equality.  The Man from Galilee was actually on that Platform Committee.JEWISH HITLERS, CHRISTIAN JIHADIST, AND THE MAGICAL EFFECTS OF PUSHING THE “HATE” BUTTONLots of exchanges of posts, counter posts , Facebook comments , blog posts , television exchanges of people behaving badly and calling each other names for calling each other names.  My bottom line: people don’t like to be called less-than or told they need to change. We all want the same thing–acceptance for who we are, not tolerance for who we are.Dr. Brown writes: “Is it so hateful to believe that homosexual practice is harmful and that change is possible? (If a doctor takes issue with you or me being overweight, do we brand him or her an anti-fat, hate-filled bigot, or do we recognize that the doctor is expressing concern for our well being? Isn’t the doctor trying to be helpful rather hateful?)That  analogy falls apart quickly. When you suggest that an overweight person cut back and deny themselves excess calories, they get healthier. When you tell a gay person to deny their sexual orientation, that is when you get all the symptoms from shame to depression to addictions to suicide at the extreme.So yes, we see in this chapter that  people call each other nasty names in heated dialogues that disintegrate to yell-matches. That is going to happen on both sides when you keep telling someone that they are unacceptable.  Dr. Brown suggests we “bring [ing] the real issues into the light [so ] that we can render the hate button obsolete. Isn’t it time?”  I fully agree. But we  widely disagree on the  “real issues”.And you know what?  The “gay left” does not have a corner on nastigrams and behaving badly. Come read my mail from Christians who are not fans of my theology and actions.  Lots of people behave badly in discussion of hot topics.  And when you treat them as less-than-citizens in a democracy/republic, they may well not say pretty things. They are tired of it.  This is news?BOYS WILL BE BOYS: UNDOING GENDER AND TEACHING  “GAY IS GOOD” IN OUR CHILDREN’S SCHOOLSChildren are being taught about inclusion and the many variations of sexual orientation and family structures in schools.  It is happening at a younger  age (and so is puberty.) Most gay/trans people I know, knew at five to eight that there was some thing different about them.  Same sex parents exist and so do gay kids. If this diversity education is not something you want for your own children, then choose alternative education, talk about your family beliefs at home or attend the  preliminary curriculum hearings giving your input. I homeschooled my children for six years.  I wanted my Christian imprint on them in their early years, so I made sacrificial choices.SOMETHING QUEER ON OUR CAMPUSESYoung adults go to college and get exposed to all kinds of things that shock parents. (Actually maybe not. I don’t think my kids surpassed my antics.) Our American universities started in Christian roots ( 8 pages of those roots) and homosexuals have functions and study courses and so do heterosexuals.  Spring break in Ft. Lauderdale in my college years could rival any perversion listed. College students have and always will push the edges of what parents would like them to. This is not exclusive to queer kids.BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN, THE FAB FIVE AND  HOLLYWOOD’S CELEBRATION OF QUEERGay people are becoming mainstream on TV and in the movies.  Dr. Brown prints lists of TV shows that include gay characters, have plot lines that include gay topics and reporters that cover gay issues.( They are about 5% of the population, we can’t hide them.) All of media is not like it was in the Hollywood Moral Code days. The same chapter could be written on stupid sexual stuff straight people do. All the filth cannot be laid on the backs of gay people.Why are there so many gay people on TV?  Maybe because they really are the most talented people musical note for musical note  or  performance per scene?  I went to a gay karaoke bar in LA a few weeks back . . . never have I seen such amazing “amateur” talent. Gay people are disproportionately extremely creative. We are going to find them on TV and in movies.  And, gay/trans people are coming out of the closet and inquiring minds really do want to know about them.  Television and movies are more sexual than when I was younger; making gay people go away will not make media PG again.IS GAY THE NEW BLACK?  ANALYZING THE ARGUMENT THAT “I WAS BORN THIS WAY”No one has found the “gay gene” and being gay/trans is a result of a complex interaction of environment and biological factors.  Dr. Brown writes that other things are “programmed” into people as well:  ruthlessness, violence, alcoholism, unfaithfulness and several other unfavorable traits. “I was born that way” is not a good excuse for those traits, so it is not good enough excuse  for accepting homosexuality either.Well, until someone finds the gene that made me straight, I am just not willing to insist that GLBT people find the gay gene so that they can be validated as acceptable. SPEAKING THE UNSPEAKABLE: SOME DISTURBING PARALLELS TO PRO-GAY ARGUMENTSThe chapter starts with  : “MICHAEL BROWN IS NOT EQUATING HOMOSEXUAL PRACTICE WITH PEDOPHILIA. MICHAEL BROWN IS NOT  CALLING ALL HOMOSEXUALS PEDOPHILES”However, the next FORTY pages are about pedophilia. So repulsive, it amazed me that Dr. Brown would include it. Why does he say he included it then? Pedophiles say they are born that way and the slippery slope to including homosexuals with equal status will open the doors to pedophiles wanting equality and acceptance too.This section made me angry.  Just because you say  “I am not saying this . . . ” and then publish FORTY pages of trash in the midst of a book on the dangers/damage of/by homosexuals does not negate the impact of the natural association that people will make to homosexuality. This is one of the most disgusting ploys, intentional or not, of the entire book. Dr. Brown could have stated his concerns in one paragraph, yet, I was subjected to reading  the NAMBLA boy-love trash???How many already anti-gay readers will duct tape the whole yucky mess onto the GLBT community? How many potential GLBT readers will you thoroughly offend by this most egregious, don’t-think-about-the-pink-elephant tactic?  So offensive and incredibly subtly manipulative. Completely gratuitous porn. No wonder no publisher would touch this manuscript. This may have been one of the two major disqualifiers from options other than self publish.Yes, I know:  “MICHAEL BROWN IS NOT EQUATING HOMOSEXUAL PRACTICE WITH PEDOPHILIA. MICHAEL BROWN IS NOT  CALLING ALL HOMOSEXUALS PEDOPHILES” but, what will your readers hear? What will they remember?  Horrid.  You should have left it unspeakable.DIVERSITY OR PERVERSITY? CORPORATE AMERICA’S EMBRACE OF GAY PRIDE AT ITS WORSECorporate America is going after the GLBT dollar and is becoming more inclusive and diverse in the workplace. Some corporations have zero tolerance and enforce it. Gay Pride events are not family environments.  (Well, until recently, children for the most part were not there.  Remember gay people have been denied much of the family privileges. Now you see more and more families marching, churches marching, married couples marching.  My daughter Sami, 24 , was at SF Pride with friends two years ago. She sobbed as people marched by in families with strollers and balloons. “Mom, they are just families. They are no different.”  Brava Sweetie, you get what escapes so many others; they are just families.)And check out the predominately heterosexual Mardi Gras or Freaknik or Love Parade.  We heteros can strip down and behave in an interesting manner as well.  I go to SF Pride every year.  Are there pretty shocking outfits or lack of outfits?  Sure. But if Kraft or Starbucks or Wells Fargo wants some of that consumer dollar, they have gone to the right place.LAVENDAR LANGUAGE, GENDER SPEAK, AND QUEERS SEMANTICS: TOWARDS AN OMNISEXUAL SOCIETY?Learn the jargon; it’s a good thing.  I’m a cisgender heterosexual.  AKA straight.QUEER THEOLOGY, A GAY/LESBIAN AND HOMOEROTIC CHRISTOh my. I heard Dr. Brown say “the queer reading of Scripture will blow you away” and that he was “so sad and so pained by the end of the chapter that [he] cried.”  Well, I fully agree.Almost everything Dr. Brown presented as “normal” belief/behavior for gay Christians, I have never heard. Who did he speak to? What kind of fringe spiritual people did Dr. Brown drag up?  Prayers for cruising? Fantasizing about taking off the loincloth of a crucified Christ? Come on! This is presented as what gay Christians think about/do?I can find you fringe freak heterosexual Christians who have all kinds of crazy, vulgar thoughts and that does not translate to what the rest of heterosexual Christians think.  I read every footnote, every word. Dr. Brown did not go  two and half hours up the road to Raleigh, NC  to the headquarters of The Gay Christian Network (GCN) and speak to my friend Justin Lee?  Justin, who is a fine gay Christian and is a man of great integrity.   GCN is an online and has an in person local community of over 18K GLBT believers world wide. Dr. Brown found the guy fantasizing  about making love to the Michelangelo Christ? WHAT?Dr. Brown did not call Todd Ferrell, President of  The Evangelical Network, a group of  gay affirming churches. Or Yvette Flunders of City of Refuge Churches. Or personally speak with Rev. Troy Perry, who, by the way, aside from being the founder of MCC is an amazing man of God. Yes. Or Ralph Blair of Evangelicals Concerned.  Or Ross Murray of Lutherans Concerned. Or even attend  an affirming body of believers and get to personally know the pastors over a meal. Or go to any one of many GLBT Christian conferences . Ahhhhh!  Or even talk to me personally or Andrew Marin, personally. This is unbelievably negligent.This chapter and the pedophile chapter alone should completely disqualify anyone from publishing this book. Careless, deceptive. Sure, the shock value is wonderful, but, is it the truth? Is it a good view of the reality of the norm in the gay Christian arena? Simple answer, no.SO, IT’S NOT ABOUT SEX? THE ATTEMPT TO SEPARATE BEHAVIOR FROM IDENTITYDr. Brown tells us it is not really about equality, it is really about sexual behavior and gay people want to be affirmed in their sexual behavior.  “To say that the issue before us is only one of identity and not behavior is to be disingenuous, not to mention completely buying into today’s ‘It’s all about equality and tolerance’ mantra”.All the damning data is here. Promiscuity, AIDS, gay men are not as faithful as a man and woman couple. Well, let them get married, dang it! Any couple is more faithful in a marriage. Gay men may never match the “faithful” rates as the man/woman combo, true. As a friend of mine says, “You put two penises in an equation and you get trouble.” Boys.There is some pretty juicy stuff in this chapter. It is sure to shock, but by now, I am starting to see  that is one of the intents. Forget the average, boring, just-as-dull-as-me gay person.  There other gay/trans people that  are so much more memorable.  This one sentence “Why should people be put into a special class of citizens equivalent, say, to race or ethnicity–based upon the way the have romantic and sexual relationships?” tells me volumes.  Being gay or lesbian of bisexual is not about the way someone has sex.  That one sentence tells me the shallowness of the knowledge and understanding of the gay community.THE “EX-GAY” MOVEMENT: FACT OR FICTION?It is a fact that the ex-gay movement does exist. It is a fact that some people find reconciliation of faith and sexuality in these groups. It is a fact that some people do get heterosexually married or remain celibate for the rest of  their lives.It is fiction however, that people change their orientation.  When I see the footnotes  and quotes citing Nicolosi, NARTH and Gagnon, I know Dr. Brown has  gone to the extremes for his research. Even Alan Chambers of Exodus would have told Dr. Brown that no one can change their orientation and Alan Chambers is supposed to be the Christian church world expert.  Anything out of NARTH as a resource?  Rent Boy ring a bell? Please  Dr. Brown, call Michael Bussee and talk to him. One of Exodus originals. Ask him why he got discouraged by the lies of those around him. Or Darlene Bogle, one of the Exodus speakers, leaders, author of two or their books, counselor for fifteen years.  She lives with her spouse in San Jose.  Or John Smid who ran Love in Action, a residence program for reparative therapy for twenty two years.Dr. Brown instead focuses on Wayne Besen, Truth Wins Out, gay activist extraordinaire and recounts the  tiffs he and Wayne have had.THE STIFLING OF SCIENCE  DEBATELots of facts from NARTH, Americans for Truth, the famous Spitzer study about gay people converting to straight, the coercion of the American Psychiatric Association to take being homosexual off the disorders list and the meeting gay activists shut down so that the discussion of born gay and reparative therapy would not be held publicly.I researched  further on that last point. The short of the “gay activists shutting down the meeting ” is APA was hosting an open discussion of homosexuality and religious reparative therapy .  The panel included Rev. Gene Robinson and two Evangelicals.  When Robinson heard that the moderator was from Focus on the Family and that they were going to use the event to push the reparative therapy issue, Robinson canceled. Been there, done that. The program host then made the decision to cancel the event before the public outcry to cancel a potentially  unbalanced presentation.  So, gay activists didn’t stifle this one. Stuff happens.BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING AND HE IS REALLY GAYThis chapter is filled with “no way” stories. Two high school girls on home detention for distributing fliers calling another boy gay with a picture of him kissing a boy. Isaiah Washington of Grey’s Anatomy being fired for  calling another actor “fa****”.  Crystal Dixon, an HR manager  at a University fired for a personal letter to a local newspaper editor. Julea Ward being dropped from a graduate program at a university for not counseling a gay person.  And several others.Again, my truth, your truth and the truth. I researched all the stories in this chapter. I could make a case for the opposite side of each story. When you read something completely ridiculous and say to yourself  “no way”, be sure to check it out and not just believe it .GLBT AND BEYOND:  REFLECTIONS ON OUR TRAJECTORYIf you think someone being gay is a stretch on your mind, here are some other rarities.  Two used-to-be-women becoming men and having a baby. Transgenders. Children knowing at young ages they are trans. Legalizing gay marriage will lead to incestuous marriage and polyamorous marriage.  We are going to have to accept all kinds of people.Is this really so so scary? There are seven billion people on the planet. I can sure account for lots of varieties of  combinations in that mix.  The world is just not pink and blue and if you need it to be, you will be very scared.MY SUMMARYFirst, thanks for hanging in there for the long read. A seven hundred page book filled with information on a crucial topic is not a 500 word piece.I can say this to Dr. Brown’s credit; he did not say directly  hateful things about GLBT people. When we agreed that I would read the book, he said “Kathy, God knows that there is love in my words because there is love in my heart. And he knows that the book was written with tears. Whether you recognize that or not depends on your own heart, and I do trust you will hear mine.”  I tried. I did not sense or feel love. in this AQTHTA.  I wish I did, I wanted to. I wanted to read compassion. I think it is a grievous flaw to write about a group of people from a distance. I know Dr. Brown’s  brother in law “struggled” and he has had meals with Matt Comer, but nothing will ever substitute comfortable, regular everyday relationships. The rules all change when you like someone.I know the Bible very well. I have been reading, studying and listening to it for twenty five years. I love the Word of God and I am crazy about Jesus. When I see Him in the lives of people who are gay; when I see gay Christians living for Him and committed to doing the will of God and I see the life changing power and fruits in them, it must force me to consider that indeed they are every bit as Christian as I am.  No need to change or suppress orientation. No need to demand they be celibate. The same rules apply to them as me and committed, monogamous relationships will have to stand in lieu of marriage for  now.The clear witness of GLBT believers in my life tells me, without question, that my former interpretation of Scripture was flawed.  Dr. Brown can fight it all he needs, he can write 700 pages telling me how far the GLBT community is from the blessing of God, but there will always be God’s truth.  I see God’s truth in the lives of hundreds of  gay/trans people’s lives.“A Queer Thing Happened to America” may well feed the fears and biases of many Christian believers and followers of Dr. Brown.  I think they will really enjoy the validation of their notions about GLBT people. But, is it God’s truth?I think AQTHTA manipulates the facts, presents the worst of situations, travels to the fringes to find the extremes and  interjects damaging oddball situations and thinking to  horribly skew and demonize an entire class of people, the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community.  And, the cover is wildly offensive.I did not read any solutions in the book to practically engage the GLBT community in the higher callings of Christ; the ones that tell us to love and serve. I know that was not  the intent of the book,  but if forty pages can  be devoted to pedophilia, then how about some practical steps for love and serve options?I would NEVER NEVER give this book to a gay/trans person. NEVER.  I could not imagine any GLBT person could sense love on any page. I was appalled by the many comments about transgender  people. I have an unusual burden for this community and only God knows why. I never even knew a transperson a few years ago. Now I weep over the abuse of them and ignorance towards them.Sentences like:  “We [speaking about transgender people] would do better to concentrate on trying to fix their minds and not their genitalia.” And, “No doubt there are many beautiful people among them, but that hardly  means that each of their sexual orientations and identities and proclivities must be recognized, endorsed and celebrated by society or that their sexual orientations or identities or proclivities are what make them beautiful.  Really now, it is beautiful for a grown man to surgically mutilate his penis and wear a dress?” No one is asking for a party to celebrate  them; they just want the dignity to be the human they are.  Same thing we all want: love, acceptance and dignity.  If you do not take issue with the offense of these sentences, you do not fully understand the issues of brain stamping versus body biology.I absolutely believe Dr. Brown believes this effort was done in love. I hear his sincerity in his own belief in his effort .  I am aware I risk attack and ridicule from the Brown “camp” on this. I promised honesty and think I have delivered.  Dr. Brown has told me he has felt “nothing but harsh judgmentalism from [me] from the first day we interacted.”I was pained to read so much of this book.  This struggle is part of the great mysteries we deal in when we are followers of a God that we try to understand with a human mind. How can the same God tell Dr. Brown  that his attitudes are the truth and those same attitudes make me ache?  When I hit these walls , I ask “Where is the strategy of God in each side of the debate? Do I “smell” Jesus in this one or that one? Is the calling from humility?”  We will not know fully till we are face to face  with  Him. For now, my Spirit bears strongly to me that the heart of Jesus is in my ministry.The saying goes “I have no dog in this fight.”  I am not a lesbian, never had one romantic thought about a woman, my kids are straight, I don’t have a ministry at risk or any book deal on the line or a board to answer to.  I am just one person, called by God, I believe ,to love , understand, listen to, encourage, serve and give voice to the GLBT community.  I am not any less valuable because I only speak English and very spotty Italian.  I do know that with every ounce of me, I am convicted that God is orientation and gender  blind. His people limit Him way too much. He has created beautiful people in every complexity imaginable.I would strongly suggest you spent the significant number of hours it would take to read this 700 page book and go befriend and listen to a gay/trans person.  Get to really know them, not the them you think you know.  “A Queer Thing Happened to America” feeds fear. Ditch your fears, your biases, your ignorance on this issue and go do relationship with gay and trans people. I did and it changed my life.  If you need a bit more  understanding on the topic of GLBT Christians, I am getting to be an expert. I can help  point you to answers if  I do not have a response for you.We really need to move beyond fear to understanding and love. God help us.RELATED POSTS: Scripture and Homosexuality: A Look at the Verses “Day of Dialogue” from Focus on the Family is Not a Jesus-Action Dear Alan, My Friends are Gay, Not Broken “Ten Lies about the glbt Community Told by Conservative hate Groups | A Straight Christian Perspective” Statistics That Lie | “The Dutch Gay Marriage Study” Focus on the Family: You Make Us Look Stupid, Stop Lying “Medical Consequences of What Homosexuals Do”, Come on, Really? Three Things My GLBT Christian Friends Want You to Hear [...]

  6. “Fearfully & Wonderfully Made” or Fear? « Serendipitydodah - August 24, 2010

    [...] You get to serve and love.  You will never argue people to a loving God.  I wrote a blog post “Three Things GLBT Christians Want You to Hear”; perhaps you might start there for some insights.  Ask questions, and listen. Ask a GLBT Christian [...]

  7. Inclusion of the GLBT Community into Churches | Canyonwalker Connections - August 22, 2010

    [...] You get to serve and love.  You will never argue people to a loving God.  I wrote a blog post “Three Things GLBT Christians Want You to Hear”; perhaps you might start there for some insights.  Ask questions, and listen. Ask a GLBT Christian [...]

Leave a Reply

Protected with IP Blacklist CloudIP Blacklist Cloud